When the Moravian missionaries first began working with the Eskimos, they had trouble finding a word in the native language for forgiveness, so they made one up. They assembled a long list of letters that looked impossible to pronounce: “Issumagijoujungnainermik.” But to the Eskimos it was easily understood. It really was a combination of words which had a beautiful meaning: “Not-being-able-to-think-about-it-anymore” (Paul Lee Tan, Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations, Assurance Publishers, 1979, p. 456).
That is a great word for forgiveness. True forgiveness results in a total loss of memory. If you have truly forgiven someone, you will never again recall anything about it. Never again will the matter even be brought up. It is gone. It is no longer remembered in any way. And that is what Paul has asked of Philemon in his short letter recorded in Scripture. He wanted Philemon to forgive his runaway slave Onesimus and forget all about it. He wanted him to begin a whole new relationship with Onesimus as brothers in Christ.
When we forgive someone we need to be like Stephen, who when he was being stoned to death for his faith, prayed, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60). That is the kind of attitude that is behind Paul’s final push to move the heart of Philemon to forgive Onesimus. In the final verses of the book of Philemon, Paul gives insight into the motives of forgiveness.
First, we forgive because we recognize our own debt which we cannot pay. In verse 18 Paul offered to pay any debt Onesimus may have owed because he had run away. In verse 19 Paul says, “I will repay.” And he adds a parenthetical note: “not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides.” Paul shared the gospel first with Philemon, as he now has with Onesimus, and with similar results. Both men have come to trust in Christ for their salvation. So Philemon owes Paul a spiritual debt he could never repay. Therefore the two debts cancel each other out. Philemon’s spiritual debt should motivate him to forgive Onesimus.
We also forgive because we realize the possibility of being a blessing to others. Philemon has been a blessing to others (v. 7). Now Paul asks to receive that same blessing. The word “have joy” or “benefit” (v. 20a) is from the same root word in the Greek as the name Onesimus, which means “useful.” Here is another play on words. By forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would benefit Paul “in the Lord,” by bringing him joy through his example of obedience. And so Paul tells him to “refresh my heart in the Lord” (v. 20b) by forgiving Onesimus.
We forgive because we know that obedience to the faith requires it. Paul adds, “Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say” (v. 21). Paul reminds Philemon of the necessity of obeying Christ, knowing that to be obedient to Christ means forgiving others as He has forgiven us.
We forgive because we acknowledge our own need for accountability. Paul asks Philemon to “prepare a guest room…for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you” (v. 22). He expects to be released from prison and he plans to visit Philemon to check up on him and to see how he has forgiven Onesimus. Accountability! We all need it. It motivates us to forgive.
We forgive because we understand the importance of maintaining fellowship. Five men send their greetings along with Paul’s letter in verses 23-24. Five men well known to Philemon. Men who are a part of the fellowship. Philemon is accountable to all, and to forgive Onesimus would set a great example for these men and for all the church. Failure to forgive would break the bonds of their fellowship, because fellowship is established on and built upon forgiveness.
Finally, we forgive because we believe it is required of us by grace. That is why Paul concludes his letter to Philemon with the words: “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen” (v. 25). By now Philemon was undoubtedly convicted of his need to forgive. Likewise, we too should be so convicted and motivated. The strength to forgive comes only from the grace of God, the same grace with which Christ forgave us. By God’s grace, forgive! Amen.
